Holiday Stress Busters
Holidays can be very exciting and happy for many children, but can also be a very stressful time for some children and their parents. Stress can be due to unrealistic expectations, difficulties with establishing priorities, multiple and competing demands on time and energy, or facing the holidays after a loss or change in the family. Thus, it is important to recognize sources of stress, establish priorities, organize your time, and abandon impossible goals.
Additional tips to help prevent and manage stress during the holidays:
- Remember that children can be impacted by stress in the family and try to effectively manage your own stress
- Recognize that family relationships are a source of support, but they can also trigger stress
- Spend time with people you care about and try not to isolate yourself
- Accept family members and friends for who they are and put aside conflicts or unrealistic expectations
- Remember that you do not have control over the way other people behave, but you do have control over the way you react to other people’s behavior
- Accept that traditions change as families change and that things don’t have to be the same or perfect to be special
- Discuss plans in advance so activities are predictable and children know what is expected of them. Whenever possible involve children in planning and try not to change plans unexpectedly
- Try not to abandon healthy lifestyle habits, such as regular meals, good nutrition, good sleep habits, limiting time watching TV or playing computer and video games alone, and balancing periods of rest with activity
- Attempt to stick to established routines and continue to consistently enforce established rules and consequences even if you are traveling or relatives are visiting, but also recognize when it is important to be flexible
- Bring a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, book, game, or small toy when traveling
- Anticipate times when children will be waiting and bring something to entertain them
- Be prepared with healthy snacks and drinks if you are out of the house longer than expected
- Plan ahead and accept that you might not be able to do or participate in everything
- Acknowledge feelings and help children find ways to appropriately express them
- Help children find a special way to remember special people who are not with them over the holidays
- Encourage children to take time to relax and appreciate what they have
- Establish a budget and attempt to stick to it. Don’t promise children gifts that you cannot realistically give them and don’t be afraid to let children know if something is too expensive or they are asking for too many gifts
- Consider alternatives to giving gifts, such as sharing your time, talents, or resources with others. To make a gift to Duke Children’s in honor of those on your gift-giving list, visit us online at www.gifts.duke.edu/dch.
Article written by:
Barbara Keith Walter, Ph.D., M.P.H.
Assistant Clinical Professor of Medical Psychology
Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences
Duke University Medical Center
